2013 End of Year Awards
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Before we can continue, "Fuck the System" by System of a Down plays as President Lars Douglas makes his way up to the podium. Lars shakes Keller's hand before Keller walks off.
Lars: Rest in peace Mae Young. Would have mentioned that earlier but this show's been in progress for the last few days so just bear with us here.
Audience: Bear! Bear! Bear! Bear!
Lars smiles before Levy hands him an envelope.
Lars: As the President of this company I've made it clear to all the wrestlers that the one thing that they need to do above all else is STEAL the show. Winning and losing is all good but give these people something memorable that they'll be talking about for a long time. These are the following nominations for "Moment of the Year"!
- Moment of the Year -
A graphic is displayed on the screen showing "Nominations for Moment of the Year".
Lars: Chris Benoit returns at "Xtreme Battle Zone" and drops a flying headbutt on Carlos Shotgun!
Flashback clip is played from Xtreme Battle Zone. The lights start flickering in the arena. The lights go out and when they return there is a man standing on the top rope wearing full riot gear and riot helmet. He looks down at Shotgun as the fans erupt.
Chico: Who is that? Who is that?!?!
The man extends his arms and leaps off into a headbutt with the helmet that nails Shotgun right in the head immediately busting him open. Shotgun rolls around the ring in pain as he man extends his arms and looks at the fans. The man stands over a bleeding Shotgun and does the cut throat gesture. He pulls it off and looks at the camera and the place absolutely explodes.
Manic: Holy shit!
Chris Benoit stands in the ring looking down at Shotgun with a smile on his face. The fans simply explode with “Benoit” chants as he looks around with a confident smile on his face.
Chico: It’s Chris Benoit! Oh my god! It’s Chris Benoit!
Benoit grabs the helmet and puts it next to Shotgun. Benoit exits the ring confidently as the roar of the crowd is deafening. He walks up the ramp and stands on top where he looks at Shotgun one more time. Shotgun is seen bleeding trying to get to his feet as he stares right back at Benoit.
Manic: Chris Benoit is back! I can’t believe it!
We go back to Lars.
Lars: What a shit for brain. Next on the list is Robert Mastro laying the smackdown on Shangri-La Jester at "Hell on Earth"!
The crowd pops as we go to a flashback clip from "Hell on Earth". Jester just picks up the win on Mastro after a hard fought contest. Jester hops off the turnbuckle right in time to eat a chair shot to the head from Mastro.
Chico: Does this guy have a death wish or something?
Another chairshot, another chairshot, another chairshot. Mastro is going crazy at this time. Another hard chairshot to Jester. A referee runs into the ring but Mastro decks the referee with a right hand. Mastro opens the chair up enough to slip Jester's ankle in the middle. Mastro climbs to the second turnbuckle as Jester's ankle is still in the middle of the chair.
Manic: He's going to break his ankle!
Mastro jumps off and stomps on the chair smashing Jester's ankle. Jester curls over in pain clutching on his ankle as several more referees jump into the ring.
Chico: Jester is hurt Manic. They need to get him out of here.
The clip cuts out as we go back to the podium.
Lars: God.. Violence, I love it. Oh hey! Next on the list for "Moment of the Year". Carlos Shotgun giving Mastro a Bullet Bomb through the flaming table at Showdown 42!
A flashback clip is shown from Showdown 42. Shotgun is asking Mastro if he wants to join the Elite.
Shotgun: Mastro.. I would like you to become an ELITE Mercy Killer.
Mastro: Shotgun.. my answer is..
Falkenyork hits a superkick on Mastro. Shotgun begins to stomp Mastro down along with York as the fans boo. Falkenyork puts Mastro in Version 7.
Shotgun: When I hired you I never thought in a million years you would get the job done. You were supposed to be a distraction, nothing more. Now I see how dangerous you are. You see that money Mastro? Do you?! To men like you, that money means a new life. A new beginning. To me? That’s fucking chump change.
Shotgun sweeps the table before placing the briefcase on it. He opens it and scatters the money on the table. The camera zooms in on the bills as Shotgun starts dousing them with the gas can. The fans are going wild as Shotgun pulls out a Zippo lighter and looks down at Mastro.
Shotgun: I want you to watch, I want you to watch as I burn your fucking life down into the ground…
Mastro: No!
Shotgun lights the Zippo lighter and tosses it at the money and immediately it goes up in flames. The fans are shocked as the bills burn up. Mastro is livid and he pulls with everything he has and breaks the Version 7! He pushes Falkenyork back but Shotgun kicks him in the mid-section and bullet bombs Mastro on the table through the burning money.
Manic: Oh my god what the hell Shotgun!?
Shotgun pulls out a cigarette and places it in his mouth before kneeling down and grabbing a burning stack of 100 dollar bills. He lights up the cigarette using the money and exhales the smoke. We go back to the podium as Lars is smiling at the carnage.
Lars: Yeah how about that one eh?
The camera cuts to a quick shot of Mastro who just shakes his head.
Lars: Next nomination.. The Syndicate divorce each other and Mark Adkins kicks the Original's ass! This was at Showdown 46.
Flashback scene from Showdown 46. The Original was just eliminated from the King of Xtreme tournament as he's having an argument with Mark Adkins.
Original: You're supposed to, distract the referee!
Adkins: I just beat Dustin Holt without any help and you couldn't take out Mastro? Sucks to be you.
Original looks down for a moment before slapping Adkins in the face.
Original: Sucks to be who?
Adkins kicks Original between the legs and grabs him by the neck. Adkins walks Original over towards the rope as the crowd stirs. Adkins hits Original with the End on Five to a huge pop! Adkins looks to the outside of the ring and looks back at Original who's face first on the canvas. Adkins slides to the outside and grabs Original by the shoulders. Adkins front facelocks Original and drags him out a couple feet.
Manic: What the hell is he doing?
Adkins drops Original with a hangman's End on Five to the concrete floor! The crowd starts chanting "holy shit, holy shit" as Original contorted in a way the human body is not supposed to go. Adkins gets back to his feet.
Adkins: Syndicate is OVER with.
We go back to the podium as Lars is taking a swig of vodka from a flask.
Lars: Yeah buddy. Good stuff. Last nomination on this list was actually from our last show. Chris Falkenyork helps Mark Adkins win King of Xtreme and reveals himself as the guy who rearranged Mastro's face with a kendo stick! What a mark out moment, grr. Lets take a look.
Flashback clip to King of Xtreme is shown. Robert Mastro and Mark Adkins are in the finals of the tournament. Mastro has Adkins set up for a Cradle Piledriver. Mastro turns his head for a split second and gets his head taken off with a kendo stick shot! Mastro is down on one knee from the shot as the cameraman rips off a pair of shades, then a fake beard, then a hat, and a wig. It's Falkenyork! Falkenyork grabs Mastro by the hair and looks at him right in the face.
Falkenyork: It was me Mastro, ME!
Mastro slaps Falkenyork away and snaps up to his feet as the crowd is losing it. Mastro kicks Falkenyork in the midsection and goes for a Cradle Piledriver. Adkins pops up out of nowhere and kicks the ladder away. Mastro drops Falkenyork from the slight distraction. Adkins jumps up and drops Mastro onto the canvas with an End on Five!
Manic: End on Five! End on Five!
Adkins rolls Mastro over and goes for the cover while hooking the leg. Mastro kicks out at two!
Manic: What? What!?
Falkenyork reaches over for the chair thats in the ring and hands it over to Adkins who gladly takes it from him. The referee has nothing to do here as this is an Xtreme Rules match. Mastro is still trying to get back to his feet as Adkins raises the chair high up in the air. Adkins drills Mastro with the chair!
Manic: Chairshot!
Adkins swings and hits Mastro again, and again, and again! The crowd cannot believe what they're seeing here. Adkins continues to deck Mastro over and over again. Mastro is still trying to get up. Adkins stomps Mastro in the head and hits another chairshot! Another chairshot! Another chairshot! Mastro is out as Adkins hits another chairshot, another chairshot, ANOTHER chairshot. Falkenyork stands in the corner with his eyes closed as Adkins tosses the chair away and waves the referee over. Adkins rolls Mastro onto his back and covers while hooking both legs.
Chico: It's over Manic.
The crowd chants along for the one, two, three! Adkins is the 2013 King of Xtreme.
Manic: It's over!
We go back to the podium as Lars is opening up the envelope.
Lars: I think all of them should win. Good shit. The winner of the "Moment of the Year" goes to.. Come on now, work with me here. Got it.
Lars takes a look at the sheet.
Lars: Carlos Shotgun hitting the Bullet Bomb to Mastro through the flaming table at Showdown 42!
"Do the Evolution" by Pearl Jam plays as Shotgun makes his way up holding his hands high in the air all proud of himself. Robert Mastro makes his way up from the opposite end as Lars is clapping his hands for both men. Shotgun waves for a bottle of sanitizer after shaking Lars's hand. Lars shakes Mastro's hand before handing both men their awards.
Lars: Robert! First off I gotta thank this guy for the spiffy awards show banner that he made.
Mastro: I actually had help with it.
Lars: Shut up and take the credit eh? Ha ha anyway.
Lars steps aside as Mastro is first up.
Mastro: I'm going to be real with everyone here. When I first got here nobody gave me a chance. I had the support of a select few. This gay turd Carlos happens to be one of them. Thanks for the motivation Carlos. Even if that motivation was getting powerbombed through a table full of cash. As far as what happened at King of Xtreme goes.. Lets just say that by this time next year.. I'll have a memorable moment with Falkenyork except I'm not going to be the one on the receiving end of getting their ass kicked.
The camera cuts over to Falkenyork who has a smile on his face.
Falkenyork: I'm looking forward to it!
Shotgun takes the podium looking happier than usual.
Shotgun: The only reason I remember anything that night was because I think Mastro farted in my face before I dropped him on his head. Yeah I didn't appreciate that you Paul Bearer wannabe fucker! Anyway, I would like to thank the Academy. I would also like to get this show over with. I got some tits to suck on afterwards and I'm not a very patient guy! Thank you!
Shotgun raises his award in the air before walking off. Mastro walks off on the other side as Lars goes back up to the podium. Bob Levy hands him an envelope before walking off.
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- Feud of the Year -
Lars: This next category we're going to do minus the highlight videos but going to go over some of the history with each nomination.
Audience: We want clips! We want clips! We want clips!
Lars: Hey I want to marry Lisa Ann but we can't have everything! So yeah here's a history lesson for each nomination for "Feud of the Year".
Lars grabs a piece of paper out and puts on his glasses.
Lars: First on the list. These three men saw competition against each other in some sort of fashion nine times last year. Six of those times the Xtreme Championship was on the line. They were to put it simply, the three that made the Xtreme Title what it is today. Pike Lorenzo, Blaze Rodriguez, and Dustin Holt!
The camera cuts to quick shots of each man that Lars just named off. The audience applauds.
Lars: Next nomination.. Here's one. This man's legacy could be named from several things but one of them was his streak of singles match victories at XtremeMania. This other man made it his goal to be the one to finally break the streak, which he did. Chris Falkenyork and Pike Lorenzo!
The camera cuts to Falkenyork who just sighs. We see a shot of Lorenzo who is shaking his head in approval. We go back to Lars who is clapping for both men.
Lars: Alright lets see who's next here. Of course. There's really no need to explain this one. These two man joined forces at Dead End and made the tag team division their bitch. The only thing that could stop them was well, each other. But before then? They were the enemy of every team that stepped foot into an XWF ring. The Syndicate!
The camera cuts to shots of Original who is clapping his hands. We go to a shot of Adkins who is raising a glass high in the air. We go back over to Lars.
Lars: Next up! This feud based on bad blood from events that happened a decade plus ago. One man on top of the world retired after losing at XtremeMania coming back to avenge the loss against the man many have called the greatest wrestler in the history of this company. Chris Benoit and Carlos Shotgun!
The camera cuts over to Shotgun who is taking a drag off a funny cigarette. Shotgun blows out the smoke and waves to the audience.
Lars: And last on this.. List..
Audience: Shotgun! Jester! Mastro! *clap* *clap* *clap* Shotgun! Jester! Mastro! *clap* *clap* *clap* Shotgun! Jester! Mastro! *clap* *clap* *clap*
Lars tries to hold back laughing.
Lars: This feud all started with the rise of one man who took the World Champion to his limits at XtremeMania 8. That followed by another who won the World Title, bribing someone to take out said guy who main evented XM before turning on him with the powerbomb heard around the world. Of course then this crazy Canadian had a score to settle with both of these guys while. Yeah. Of course leading to the Triple Threat with the mysterious kendo stick shot to the face that broke things off into multiple feuds that we're seeing at this time. Ah screw it.
Lars grabs the envelope and opens it up before grabbing the piece of paper out. Lars nods his head.
Lars: Yeah. The winner of the "Feud of the Year" award goes to Robert Mastro, Shangri-La Jester, and Carlos Shotgun!
Mastro, Shotgun, and Jester all stand up and make a walk up towards the stage as the audience is cheering for the three men. Shotgun is strutting his way up as Mastro and Jester meet at the same time where the steps are going up the stage.
Jester: Ladies first!
Mastro: Oh I insist.
Jester walks up first as Mastro follows. Shotgun is standing on one side of Lars as Jester and Mastro stand on the other side while keeping their distance.
Lars: This feels like a goddamn episode of Jerry Springer or something. I should force the three of you to hug or fire you all on the spot! Ha ha. God I love me.
Shotgun walks up to the podium first.
Shotgun: Boys it was great to work with you two. Mastro I had fun whooping your ass and weren't we just up here? Jester! I had fun making fun of your Chris Benoit shitassness to the point where you got yourself a permanent name change. And you might be the World Champion right now, but you're not a four time World Champion like the Elite Savior. You're not the one with the sexy coconut hair and you sure as hell are not an Elite.
Jester looks like he wants to speak but Mastro steps up first.
Mastro: It's because of guys like myself and Jester that you're out of the World Title picture at this time Carlos. As a matter of fact do you even have anything going on right now? You're irrelevant. You're in the past. You're..
Jester stops Mastro before he can continue. Mastro looks agitated but Jester insists.
Jester: Guys like us? Please Mastro don't kid yourself. I'll tell both of you two something though. When I'm done taking care of the so called "Xtreme Icon" at Jaded? You two want to keep this going? I have no problem with kicking both of your asses, again.
The audience cheers as Jester takes his award and walks off.
Audience: Jester! Jester! Jester!
Shotgun does the Scott Hall "I'm so scared" taunt of sarcasm before turning around and leaving. Mastro just shakes his head at both guys as he takes his award and walks off too. Lars goes back up to the podium.
Lars: Lets hear it for them one more time! Yeah!
Lars applauds the three before Levy walks up with an envelope. Levy walks off as Lars takes another swig of vodka from his flask.
Lars: Before we get to the final two End of Year awards.. This year we wanted to give out an award to someone who has not gotten the recognition that he deserves. Honestly he deserves quite a bit for the amount of time that he's spent with us.
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- Achievement Award -
Lars turns around and grabs a plaque.
Lars: Back before the XWF started the "Episode" era with Showdown when Mike was still testing the waters with bringing the company back at all we had a guy who joined the company. He made his debut at Collision Course exactly three years ago on January 15, 2011. He's been with us ever since. A record forty nine shows that he's appeared on. Pretty much more than anybody else in the company right now including myself! At XtremeMania 7 in front of a sold out Las Vegas crowd along with The Ray defeated the three time World Tag Team Champions, The Wreckin Crew. Just last year he was part of the only Tables, Ladders, and Chairs match in Showdown history. And he's got a pretty cool chick that he loves to hang around with. At this time I would like to give out a lifetime Achievement Award to a guy who just... Loves to steal souls, ha ha. Yeah. Here he is, the Dark Stranger!
"Monster" by Skillet plays as the camera cuts over to Dark Stranger who stands up with his partner in crime Lady Gaga. Following behind the two of them is two of his souls, Ryan Ryder and The Ray.
Audience: Stranger! Stranger! Stranger!
Lars hands the plaque over to Stranger who's got something that almost resembles a smile on his face. You can't really tell because of the mask but you get the idea.
Stranger's music cuts out as Lars steps away from the podium. Stranger looks around at the audience who are all cheering him on.
Audience: Take our souls! Take our souls! Take our souls!
Stranger: Gladly!